Meltdown - Week 1

275

Shatter your existence

Almost everything you've ever said has already been said before. Almost everything you've ever thought has already been thought. We live in this cyclical world of thought and action, a snake eating its own tail, if you will. We, as a collective, need to shatter this complacent lifestyle, this way of being.

I will begin this movement today. Note the date, 7/31/2011. A new way of living will hopefully permeate through the collective consciousness. The following is a sentence that's never been said before, a thought that's never been postulated upon.

"The camel's sloop, whose sail is made of yak foreskin, was ground ashore by the cleft-lipped first mate."

Let the intellectual revolution begin.

"You are what you do. A man is defined by his actions, not his memory."

I was eating an orange this evening. When I finished peeling it, I pulled it apart in half, to discover this orange had a mini orange growing inside of it. This always creeps me out. It always makes me think that Kuato is growing inside my orange. No sir, I don't like. Not one bit.

Chairman Meow's Aphorism #2

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Shit My Cat Types

(psst. See what I did there? I aped the name from a marginally funny twitter account-gone-shit-tv-show for my post)

In an ongoing attempt to entertain my reader (hi Jeska), I'm starting a regular feature called "Chairman Meow's Aphorisms". A quick background.

I work from home. I have 2 cats, Frank and Chairman Meow. Every day while I'm working, Chairman Meow will jump onto my shoulder, hop onto my work desk and proceed to either walk all over or sleep on my keyboard. The result leads to some interesting adages left by the good Chairman.

So without further ado, today's entry:

"SWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWDEV"

I Need To Be Less Of A Dirtbag

I trimmed about an inch of hair off my beard last night. I really need to be less of a dirtbag. This working from home deal I have going has really given me a lax opinion on hygiene, at least in the beard and coiffure department. I haven't really cut my hair any length in probably 6 months. Although I will say, if I could grow a respectable mustache (and not look like some sort perpetrator of molestation) I'd rock the Chester A. Arthur look full time. This should come as no surprise to most, as I also want to purchase a top hat to wear on a daily basis. All in all, if I could dress like Bill the Butcher every day I would. But I really should groom myself a little more often, I'm looking a bit wily.

Food for Thought

Do you think Jets fans would wear Jerseys with Urethra on the back?
I know I would. I wish I could still get a Ron Mexico jersey.